In this frantic hectic universe of ours, I find that not enough people take the time to relax. I know that I personally suffer extreme stress due my many obligations as Gorbul Ambassador. In fact, I often feel that I carry the weight of many galaxies upon my shoulders.
In conclusion, I would welcome comments from my readers as to what techniques they employ for needed relaxation.
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*General Grunch, you need not reply, as it’s a well known fact that muvins have no appreciation of the finer things in life. I shudder to even contemplate what you might find relaxing.
Ambassador Girzzlob, first of all, it's clear you do far too much relaxing. When do you ever work?
You massage slorth oil into your lobes to relieve stress? Are you even dimly aware that slorth flowers are highly endangered because gorbuls like you rip them out of the forests and chop them up to produce massage oil? Probably not. After all, as you so eloquently stated, you really don't read anything except the first and last sentence.
Anyway, personally I think you are a wuss. Anyone knows that a good fight full of head smashing, blood, gore and a few loud curse words is an excellent way to wind down at the end of the day.
Posted by: General Grunch – Imperial Commander of Muvin Armies | February 28, 2009 at 10:22 AM
I find prayer to be very relaxing. After all, we share this wonderful beautiful universe full of wonderful beautiful things.
Posted by: Laura Fairweather – The All Christians, All Saints, Inter-Species, Inter-Galactic Church | February 28, 2009 at 10:24 AM
Ambassador Grizzlob,
I do hope you're not one of those opera-goers who insists on singing along? It does quite ruin Puccini's "Quando me'n vo" when some over-enthusiastic audience member decides to chime in. Traditional opera etiquette requires that you sit still and SILENT while the opera is being performed.
Posted by: Antonio Alleguinini-VonStrgnanstenbauer – Music Aficionado & Music Critic (free-lance) | February 28, 2009 at 10:37 AM
My dear Mr. Alleguinini-VonStrgnanstenbauer,
Aside from the fact that you have an impossible name, you are entirely wrong about opera. It's a sign of great enjoyment to hum along with the singers, or even sing out with gusto. Besides, I have often been complimented on my voice, and if ambassadorship had not called me, I could very easily have become a great opera singer - with hordes of admirers - and I would wear white silk scarves to cover my neck and lobes.
Posted by: Ambassador Grizzlob | February 28, 2009 at 01:46 PM
Ha! Ambassador Grizzlob. You can't even hold a tune in the shower.
Posted by: General Grunch – Imperial Commander of Muvin Armies | February 28, 2009 at 04:42 PM
My dear General Grunch, since I have never showered with you in my life, how do you know what I sound like? Besides, I was referring to the stage - the grand operatic stages of the galaxy where thousands, nay hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of sentient beings would flock to hear my singing. Shower indeed. Sir, I find the very idea of sharing a shower with you to be repulsive and offensive. Furthermore, if I ever DID find myself in the same shower as a muvin, I certainly would refrain from singing.
Posted by: Ambassador Grizzlob | February 28, 2009 at 04:47 PM
We must always remember that when it rains, all creatures share the same shower, be they gorbul, muvin, human, or anything else. We should all sing in one voice under the one sky that covers us all.
Posted by: Laura Fairweather – The All Christians, All Saints, Inter-Species, Inter-Galactic Church | February 28, 2009 at 04:49 PM
My dear Ms Fairweather,
How eloquent you are. As well as a poet, you are a philosopher. I will be stopping by Morn next month. Perhaps we would arrange to meet.
Posted by: Theodore Alcott – Chief Librarian, Peabody Galactic Library | February 28, 2009 at 04:52 PM
Knock it off you two. You add absolutely nothing to this discussion.
And for your information, Ambassador Grizzlob, I would have to be disembowled, torn limb from limb, horrendously tortured and totally dead before I would ever set one of my four feet in a shower with you. So there.
Posted by: General Grunch – Imperial Commander of Muvin Armies | February 28, 2009 at 04:59 PM
General Grunch,
Alas I feel that you, as always, have digressed from the subject at hand - which is relaxation, not showering. Besides, I have always been under the impression that muvins never shower even when the rest of the world thinks they need it. However, in my role as ambassador, I would never find fault with a species for their lack of hygiene. I realize that commonly accepted habits of simple bathing are not embraced by all. Perhaps this is a form of xenophobia meant to drive away all other species from the vicinity. After all, who would want to embrace a sentient being who smells?
Posted by: Ambassador Grizzlob | March 01, 2009 at 08:53 AM
Surely, we should all embrace one another as offspring of the great, all-powerful force of love - as we are all brothers and sisters under His/Her/Its divine care. So say the teachings of The All Christians, All Saints, Inter-Species, Inter-Galactic Church which is sometimes referred to by its easy-to-remember acronym, ACASISIG. Again, I renew my offer to sit down in an atmosphere of inter-species harmony at the missionary.
Posted by: Laura Fairweather – The All Christians, All Saints, Inter-Species, Inter-Galactic Church | March 01, 2009 at 09:00 AM
I don't do group hugs.
Posted by: General Grunch – Imperial Commander of Muvin Armies | March 01, 2009 at 09:02 AM
Does it have to be a group?
Posted by: Theodore Alcott – Chief Librarian, Peabody Galactic Library | March 01, 2009 at 09:03 AM