Ambassador Grizzlob of Morn

The Importance of Relaxation

In this frantic hectic universe of ours, I find that not enough people take the time to relax.  I know that I personally suffer extreme stress due my many obligations as Gorbul Ambassador.  In fact, I often feel that I carry the weight of many galaxies upon my shoulders.

• There are some who advocate the pleasant strains of soothing music as a means to relieve stress. I confess to being an opera lover myself as long as the opera is not overly long or overly depressing and is filled with songs that a gorbul can hum along to.

• However, what's MOST  efficacious for me is massaging oil of lavender and slorth flower into my lobes. After all, a gorbul’s lobes are the seat of his reason – nay the very housing of his soul.

• In conclusion, I would welcome comments from my readers as to what techniques they employ for needed relaxation.

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 *General Grunch, you need not reply, as it’s a well known fact that  muvins have no appreciation of the finer things in life. I shudder to even contemplate what you might find relaxing.

The Importance of Staying Informed

In my role as Gorbul Ambassador, I am constantly being asked my opinion on things.  It is therefore vital that I keep abreast of what is happening not only in this galaxy, but also in neighboring galaxies as well. Needless to say, I read a lot.  Because I read so many publications, I am unable to name any specific one as my favorite. However, I have developed a reading technique that I would like to share with you:

• I feel it is important to read the first sentence of an article as that tells you what the article is going to be about.

• I feel it is important to read the last sentence of the article because that tells you what the article WAS about.

• The middle part takes too much time to read. Besides, why be burdened with too many facts and justifications that are incredibly boring and impossible to remember?

I hope my advice has helped you become as informed as I am.

My Culinary Expertise Regarding Mushrooms

 I am often consulted regarding my culinary expertise – especially when it comes to mushrooms. This is not surprising as gorbuls have long been regarded as connoisseurs of the mycological arts.   After all, mushrooms are the primary food of gorbuls and we have farmed them for centuries.  I have very succinct advice regarding the delicate edible fungi.

 

·        A little salt goes a long way

·        A fresh mushroom is a good mushroom

·        Eat as many mushrooms as you can. They rot quickly.

·        Sometimes what looks like a mushroom isn’t a mushroom

 

 

Personally, I enjoy steamed mushrooms, roasted mushrooms and sautéed mushrooms. I do not like pickled mushrooms.

 

I hope this has answered all your questions regarding mushrooms.

Thoughts on the Craft of Writing

I have often heard the expression that everyone has one great story to tell, one great book to write. I am sure this is true of many sentient being. Just because I have never heard of any great muvin authors, doesn’t mean that there aren’t any. It’s just that nobody ever reads muvin literature.

 

At any rate, I digress. I am extremely fortunate in that I carry not one, but many books within my soul. After all, as well as being an ambassador, I am considered by many, to be the finest writer on all Morn.

 

My advice to would be writers is to write one word at a time. Slowly, the words become sentences; the sentences become pages and the pages become a book. This works for me. It can work for you too.

Languages Are A Reflection of the Species

In my role as Gorbul ambassador,  I am exposed to many languages; and I have come to realize that languages often reflect the species which speak them.  For example, gorbuls, when communicating with one another tend to use telepathy. This clearly shows a highly developed brain and sense of community. When one gorbul is sad, we all share his sadness. Similarly we share each other’s joy. We keep no secrets from each other.

 

The slithnian language is full of hisses, and of course, as the saying goes  “never trust a slithnian for he will smile and then bite you.”  This is of course untrue as slithnians eat mushrooms and are toothless.

 

The more melodic twittering of the trellops, which is tonal, demonstrates their affinity for trees and arboreal living.  While I do not personally know any trellops, I am given to understand that they can be very friendly.

 

The  muvins , while somewhat resembling superficially gorbuls in that they have four feet and two arms, have no telepathic ability whatsoever. Their language is full of guttural snarls, yelps, and, although I mean no disrespect, loud flatulent noises. 

 

Humans fall somewhere in the middle of all this. They certainly have limited telepathic ability, but in my humble opinion often sound like some sort of slithnian hybrid with a good deal of muvin thrown in. And indeed, the humans do resemble muvins in their warlike acquisitive natures.  

 

However,in conclusion, I can honestly say that some of my very best friends are humans and I certainly respect all muvins as I do all species. In fact, I am writing a book on languages which is bound to be an intergalactic best-seller.

An Ambassador's Role is Never Easy

I feel it is important to address the need for harmonious interspecies communications.  It has been brought to my attention that humans are larger in size than gorbuls and muvins . I ask you, since when has size been a measure of intelligence?  Take the Ragnosian sloth for example.  It is over ten feet tall and almost equally round in girth, yet it will meander up to hunters grinning idiotically and smile pleasantly while being slaughtered. Naturally, the Ragnosian sloth is on the brink of extinction. Of course, there are times when I wonder if humans can even appreciate the necessity for inter-species communication when their own world is so divided between hostile tribes of homosapiens. Still, as Ambassador, part of my job is heal all rifts both inter-species and intra-species. In fact, I am writing a book on just how to do this which is bound to become an intergalactic best seller.

The Difficulties of Dealing with Muvins

Muvins are difficult creatures to have dealings with.  Primarily because they smell. They also have hair and eat meat.