An Ambassador's Role is Never Easy

I feel it is important to address the need for harmonious interspecies communications.  It has been brought to my attention that humans are larger in size than gorbuls and muvins . I ask you, since when has size been a measure of intelligence?  Take the Ragnosian sloth for example.  It is over ten feet tall and almost equally round in girth, yet it will meander up to hunters grinning idiotically and smile pleasantly while being slaughtered. Naturally, the Ragnosian sloth is on the brink of extinction. Of course, there are times when I wonder if humans can even appreciate the necessity for inter-species communication when their own world is so divided between hostile tribes of homosapiens. Still, as Ambassador, part of my job is heal all rifts both inter-species and intra-species. In fact, I am writing a book on just how to do this which is bound to become an intergalactic best seller.

Comments

[Erroneous Maturity]

We muvins will be demonstrating at the ambassador's house tomorrow. Join us in solidarity .....and bring your stench curtains. We WILL make a stink about this!

[General Grunch]

For the record, I do not condone violence. I am a peace loving and law-abiding muvin. However, I heartily endorse any demonstrations regarding the foul words of my colleague, Amabassador Grizzlob. In fact, I suggest that all muvins, and those who support the muvin cause, meet at once to plot our strategy and create banners that we can wave wildly. We can also bring eggs which we can hurl at the ambassador's house. Rotten veggies are a good idea too. Especially cabbage.

[General Grunch]

Ha Ha. Ambassador Grizzlob you are a fraud. You speak so eloquently about the fate of the Ragnosian sloth and yet you constantly insult muvins. Muvins are a bold warrior race. We love adventure. We love a good fight. Yet you are determined to predjudice the galaxies against us.
To use a phrase of the humans (to whom you so blatently suck up) "Physician, heal thyself". In other words, Ambassador Grizzlob, start treating muvins with some respect before you go blathering on about the universe and all its species.

[Laura Fairweather]

The world is certainly large enough for both Muvins and Gorbuls. All God's creatures are welcome at His table. I, a simple missionary to the Planet Morn, am constantly astounded at the diversity of this wonderful planet. Please, I invite both of you to join me in a simple, but hearty meal at the missionary where we can discuss the wellbeing of your souls. In the worlds of an ancient Earth proverb. "Can't we all just get along?"

[General Grunch]

Get a life. Go back to Earth. We don't want any stinking missionaries here. Go be a missionary on some other planet. I have an idea. Go preach to the Ragnosian sloths. They'll be happy to listen to you. Except they don't have any ears. Ha Ha

[Ambassador Grizzlob]

My dear Ms. Fairweather, while of course I appreciate your concern for our souls, the planet Morn has no need for any new religion. We're very happy just the way we are. I, of course, am much politer about things than my colleage, the general. However, that is because, not only am I an ambassador. I am also a Gorbul. Gorbuls are gentle, polite and civilized.
By the way, General Grunch... You come anywhere near my house with cabbage and I will throw stones at you from the roof. I will tear down your banners and dance on them with all four of my feet.